10-1-10 Derita-Statesville Road Community Org. Newsletter

10-1-10 Derita-Statesville Road Community Org. Newsletter
DSRCO PO Box 26382 CHARLOTTE, NC 28221
Your Voluntary Annual Membership ($10 for families; $20 for businesses, groups, neighborhoods) helps make our work possible. We are grateful to the many individuals, families, neighborhoods, HOA's, businesses, churches, and groups who provided us with operating funds this past year.

Those who have contributed during this past month are:

Ilene Fagen & Tom McFarland --- Thank You for your Support!

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Saturday, Oct. 2nd
Harvest Fest 2010 ---- Craft Show - BBQ - and More
9am - 3pm, Harrisburg United Methodist Church, Hwy 49, Harrisburg NC

Crafters & Visitors, please mark your calendars. We're happy to announce the
date for our 20th Annual Harvest Fest. We usually have 600+ visitors, over 50
craft exhibitors, our famous BBQ Lunch, plus breakfast, homemade Baked Goods
and pick a prize. Come pick a pumpkin from our Pumpkin Patch.

Info & Registration for Crafters, call 704 784-2319
For event information, call 704 455-2311 (Church office)
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Thursday, Oct. 7th
Derita Business Association Meets
9am, Maria's Grill in Derita. Open To All, No Membership Fee.

Our goal is to help spread the word about local business, the services that you offer,
the greater values that the community will receive in shopping closer to home.

Each meeting always includes time for exchanging business cards and Networking,
a variety of self-promotion ideas and co-operative advertising ideas

"Our Goal is to Promote Local Businesses and Service Professionals Serving Our Area."
--- Bernie Samonds 704 806-3813 Leave Msg deritarep@aol.com
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Saturday, Oct. 9th
Teen Girls and Women’s Consignment Sale
University City United Methodist Church
3835 West WT Harris Blvd. (corner of Harris Blvd. and Sugar Creek Rd.)

Regular Sale: 8:00 – 11:00am
Half-Price Sale: 12:30 – 2:00pm

New Sale! If you would like to volunteer or consign, visit www.ucumc.org/consignmentsale.

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Thursday, Oct. 14th
Oak Grove United Methodist Annual Barbecue
11am - until, Oake Grove United Methodist Church, 6440 Old Statesville Rd.

Men of the Church will be cooking and chopping BBQ pork shoulders for plates,
sandwiches, and bulk barbecue. $8 per plate or 3 sandwiches. Individual sandwiches
$ 3 each. Eat in or Take out.
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Saturday, Oct. 16th
Annual Holiday Craft Bazaar
9:00am – 3:00pm, University City United Methodist Church
3835 West WT Harris Blvd. (corner of Harris Blvd. and Sugar Creek Rd.)

Don’t miss this annual tradition! There will be a wide variety of handmade items
for sale as well as breakfast, lunch, and bake sale! If you would like to rent a table
at the bazaar, contact Phyllis Ginder at 704-921-0926. Cost for an eight foot table
is $30.
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Monday, Oct. 18th
Red Cross Blood Drive
9:30am – 2:00pm; Walk-in donors welcome!
University City United Methodist Church
3835 West WT Harris Blvd. (corner of Harris Blvd. and Sugar Creek Rd.)
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Wednesday, Oct. 20th
Business Professional Fellowship Event
5:00 – 8:00pm, University City United Methodist Church
3835 West WT Harris Blvd. (corner of Harris Blvd. and Sugar Creek Rd.)

This event offers a relaxing chance to meet business professionals of the UCUMC
family! There is no selling at the event, but plenty of free food (while supplies last)
and giveaways from each business.
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Thursday, Oct. 21st
Monthly DSRCO Neighborhood Leaders' Meeting
7pm, Derita Presbyterian Church, 2230 West Sugar Creek Rd.

The DSRCO Board, Neighborhood Leaders and interested residents meet to
discuss issues, needs of the community, re-zoning requests, area crime and
programs to create a better Quality of Life for families in our area. This is an
Open Meetng, everyone is invited.

This group not only serves as Omsbudsmen for our area, but maintains this twice
monthly newsletter as way to keep everyone better informed.
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Saturday, Oct. 23rd
6th Annual Matthews Rotary Bluegrass Festival
Chili Cook-Off, Bike Ride + 5K Race

8:30am - 3pm, Stumptown Park, Downtown Matthews
Details on-line: Events@MatthewsRotary.org
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Friday, October 29th
Reformation Day Fall Festival
Prosperity Presbyterian Church (Gym), 5533 Prosperity Church Road
6 - 8pm, Rain or Shine (in our gym)

Wear your favorite costume and come to our family-friendly fall festival, Learn
about the significance of Reformation Day in church history and help us celebrate
with an evening full of fun.

We will have HAYRIDES, a PUPPET SHOW, lots of GAMES, FACE PAINTING,
CRAFTS, HOT DOGS, SNACKS, DRINKS, PRIZES, CAKE WALKS for parents,
CANDY for the kids, and more! Activities will take place in our gym, so make plans
to join us rain or shine! Parking and all event activities are completely FREE! No
reservations or tickets needed Call 704-875-1182 for more details.
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Saturday, Oct. 30th
4th Annual Runway 5K Run
Details on-line at CharlotteAirport.com
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Every Sunday
Sugaw Creek Historical Schoolhouse Tours
Sugaw Creek Presbyterian Church, 101 Sugar Creek Road West

Free Tours Every Sunday 3 - 5pm
From May until October
“Come by and learn a little history!”
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Tuesday, Nov. 2nd,
Choose Candidates & Make Decisions
Charlotte citizens will vote on $203.6 million in transportation, neighborhood improvement
and affordable housing bonds. The bonds are a part of City Council’s adopted Capital
Investment Plan and, if approved by voters, will not require a tax increase.

The three questions are listed separately on the ballot. You may vote for $156.6 million
in Transportation & Road Improvements. You may chose to support the $32 million for
Neighborhood Improvement. $15 million is being sought for Affordable Housing
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Saturday, Nov. 6th
The “Amazing Race”
to be held in and around uptown Charlotte

The “Amazing Race” promises to be a challenging and FUN event.
I want to make you aware of an opportunity to support the scholarship fund for Therapeutic
Recreation summer camps! These funds are increasingly necessary to help children,
teens and adults with disabilities to attend summer experiences offered through the
Therapeutic Recreation Section of Mecklenburg County Park & Recreation Department.

For details, E-mail: Karen.Howard@MecklenburgCountyNC.gov
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Saturday, Nov. 13th
Community Fall Fiesta
will be held at the Derita Presbyterian Church, 2230 W. Sugar Creek Road
1-5 pm. Mark Your Calendar, Come join your neighbors as we celebrate fall.

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What your Neighbors are saying

Drano and aluminum foil in plastic bottle
Careful if you reach down to pick up that plastic bottle that someone tossed into your yard. It may not be what it seems. Received a warning that these homemade explosives have turned up locally. If you find something that looks suspicious, Call 911. Let the Professionals handle this.
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Presbyterians & Methodists
"Thanks for all that you do to put out a Calendar for the local Presbyterian and Methodist Churches."

I know you're just poking at me. But honestly, we send out an email twice
each month to over 125 Staff and Contact People at local Churches inviting
them to post upcoming events & activities. Could be that you Baptists party
as much as we do, but you just don't want to tell anyone. --- Bernie

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More News on Intersection Design
Road Widening on West Sugar Creek Rd.

Not talking about the bottleneck in front of the Post Office, but NCDOT will be swinging the wrecking ball sometime after November. They will be removing the building where Beamer's Lunch used to be. Rhodes Barber Shop will be moving up the street to Derita Corners as one of the three new tenants next door to Players Sporting Goods.Citizen's Tax Service (in the former Neal Brumley Law Office building) will move up there as well, beside The Nile (Lounge & Dance Theater).

Brumley's building will be razed and 15-20 feet frontage will be shaved off Edwards Used Car Lot on West Sugar Creek. You've already seen how much pavement was removed in the Players Sporting Goods parking lot before it was re-paved and striped. Except for a small grassy set-back, that's where the new right turn lane onto North Graham Street will go.

There's also talk about a new median on North Graham St. to better control the flow of traffic onto (Derita side) West Sugar Rd. and straight ahead onto the Graham Street Connector Rd.

Some folks say this is a good first step into cleaning up the area along Derita's railroad tracks. With these buildings gone and proper landscaping, this could be an impressive change. The area at Derita Corners (Players, etc) has already undergone some trackside cleanup and landscaping. Undergrowth was trimmed back to the tracks.

So why all this work, if NCDOT isn't going to do anything about the bottleneck? That's the question Charlie Edwards is asking? No doubt you are wondering the same thing.. But all we are hearing is that these changes are all a part of completing the intersection design at North Graham - West Sugar Creek. Mineral Springs Rd. (sheared off further up the block) will enter the Connector Rd. as a side street.

More details as we receive them. Right now right-of-way purchasing is on-going from the Derita end. We're told that property owners along the Mallard Creek Rd. widening end will be receiving more paperwork from NCDOT in December.

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20th Century Fox movie I AM...
Derita Presbyterian Church, 2230 W. Sugar Creek Rd.

We will be screening the new movie I AM... the movie that changes everything
in October on the following dates/times:
- Friday, October 15 @ 7 pm.
- Friday, October 22 @ 7 pm.
- Saturday, October 23 @ 2 pm.
- Friday, October 29 @ 7 pm.
- Saturday, October 30 @ 2 pm.

Check out movie trailers at: www.IAMthemovie.com Call the church office to reserve
your free tickets – 704-597-1122. (Age appropriate—13 and above)
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We invite the Derita Community
to check out the new Derita Presbyterian Church ... contemporary worship, praise band, culturally relevant messages. Derita is a changing church in a changing community. If you are seeking a spiritual community or looking for a new, fresh way to worship and serve, then we welcome you to Derita Church.

Worship service at 9:30 a.m., Sunday School immediately follows worship. JOIN US!
Derita Presbyterian Church, 2230 W. Sugar Creek Road
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As I Recall . . . memories of a growing up in Derita

We said Good Bye to a dear friend and one of the DSRCO family this past week.

Mary Anne Locklear was a generous with her time and talents. Sunset Baptist Church was filled to capacity with family, friends, and former Scouts.

There are many stories I could share. Mary Anne loved working with her Scouts, both boys & girls. Had she chosen a different career, I think Mary Anne might have been a teacher. She loved kids, she knew how to communicate with them. She knew how to challenge them and she knew how to inspire them. She did it for more than three decades as Girl Scout Troop Leader, a Scout Mom, Committee Chairman, and a fundraiser for many, many of their activities.

For more than a decade, she helped coordinate the Derita Halloween Costume Parade . . . Doing posters & flyers and helping to round up candy & prizes. For close to 25 years, she helped hundreds of girls' teams register and get prepared for the annual National Softball Tournaments coordinated through Players Sporting Goods. She prepared information booklets, suggested places to stay, found lodging for the umpires & officials, and helped coaches handle their last minute registration worries.

She was one of the Cole Travellers. Taking part first in the Sunday School Class monthly outings to dinner and then helping to coordinate the three day getaways to Myrtle Beach and Gatlinburg which the church Seniors enjoyed. She was active in Charlotte's Folk Music Society, pickin' and playing with the best of them.

Folks saw her year after year as the snack bar cashier for the Cole Memorial Spring & Christmas Crafts Shows. But she did much more than collect the money while the Scouts grilled hot dogs dished up the homemade soup. Several times, when my Mom was so sick and my own nerves were frayed to the end, she would literally step in and do the shopping or whatever else needed to be done to make sure that the Show went on as planned and that the Scouts and other groups had a successful fundraiser. The Christmas Shows ran for 14 years.

On Mary Anne's Facebook page today there are many, many messages from friends and former Scouts thanking Mary Anne for all that she has done in their life. But there is one that speaks for all of us about the type person that she was. . . David Butler wrote about "an Angel" that stepped into his life and took him under her wing. "She pretty much knew me better than I knew myself." --- I think that all of us feel pretty much the same way about Mary Anne. . . We don't know what we did to deserve her, but she made a difference in life for each of us.

A Few "Mary Anne" Derita Memories

"I first met Mary Anne in the mid 1970's. She and Marlene Allen had a Girl Scout Troop at Derita Presbyterian. . It was a young group, but an active one. They learned skits and games, mastered crafts and they worked on lots of badges. One of those was the camping badge and she asked if I could arrange for them to use the old Boy Scout Camp on Lake Wylie. I got turned down at first, but then the registrar told me the girls could go and camp on a separate campsite, if my Boy Scout Troop made reservations and camped out that same weekend.

They did their thing. My 10-11-12 year old boys did ours. As a Thank You, we were invited to join the Girls for supper. My guys shook of the dirt from a day's activities in the woods and even managed to wash their hands and faces, but when we walked over to the Girl's campsite, there were red & white plaid tablecloths on the rustic picnic tables. Neatly rolled Yellow napkins and plasticware laid out beside each paper plate and fresh picked flowers on the table. We were having spaghetti and the girls were all wearing their homemade aprons. They served each of us a freshly tossed salad. Another girl poured cups of iced tea, as a third Girl Scout set out baskets of toasted french bread. I just looked at my boys and thought "Welcome to Girl Scout Camping, Mary Anne style."

"Another time, She heard from her son Johnny that the Boy Scouts were going camping at Myrtle Beach and she asked if we had any extra room on the bus. As would happen at least three other times, her Girl Scouts filled up the seats on the Scout bus. The boys had our usual campsite at Lakewood Family Campground and the girls set up in
one several rows away. I remember this one trip in particular because we got off to a late start. As we passed through Darlington, I suggested stopping at the Pizza Hut in Hartsville for supper. Mary Anne used a cell phone to call ahead and place the order. She told me afterwards that we might have to wait because they had another big group scheduled ahead of us.

We arrived, were shown to our tables and the waitresses started bring out the pizzas. One of the girls complained that they had put pepperoni all over her "cheese only." But Mary Anne told her, "Just pick them off, Johnny will eat them." And the little girl was doing just that when the other big group arrived.

"Oops!" Mary Anne blushed brightly as she held a hand to her lips. I'm pretty sure I heard her stifle a little giggle as we finished eating the other group's pizzas.

In the years that followed, her Girls accompanied the Boy Scouts to the Emerald Pointe Waterpark at Greensboro (yes, I'm sure she would have much preferred the Lazy River, but the girls talked Mary Anne into riding a huge twisting waterslide affectionately called "The Black Hole.) They joined us for a few more beach trips, monthly visits to the Schiele Museum; and I even got recruited to drive a bus load of the Jr's & Sr's to Charleston for the weekend on the Air Base. Mary Anne set her sights high for her girls and called on her friends to make it happen.

In the late 1970's Roy Segee & I put together an Indian Dance Team to perform at the District Boy Scout Campfire. Mary Anne's son Ray was in that group and we performed for several Scout family nights, eventually morphing into the official Order of the Arrow Indian Dance Team. The boys continued to perform several times a month all over Mecklenburg County. But it wasn't just a boy-thing, before long Mary Anne had formed a group of "Shawl Dancers." They joined us for program & practice nights at the Schiele Museum and danced publicly and at several PowWows.

Her son Johnny was in the Webelos group at Cole Memorial, then later in the Boy Scouts. Mary Anne worked on Committees with both groups. The boys took a lot of trips. Washington DC, Florida and Myrtle Beach were among their favorite destinations. Two trips stand out in my mind.

One was Johnny's first Washington trip. It may embarrass him if I tell you that Mary Anne hid a $10 dollar bill in the bottom of his covered soap dish for that trip. It was a reward for maintaining good personal hygiene. Three days later, after returning home, he told her, "Next time, I'm going to take more money." --- Oh yeah, he missed the original surprise, but Mary Anne taught him a valuable lesson.

On another trip, this time to Disneyworld, Jay Diggs & I were out-voted. Jay's wife Joyce & Mary Anne had worked hard on the Tow-Wat sales program that helped each boy earn enough money to go back to the Magic Kingdom and they
decided this time they were going, too. After a bus ride straight through the night to Orlando, the Moms were at a disadvantage when we stepped through the gates at 10am the following morning. The boys wanted to see everything, ride everything, and then do it again and again. But the two ladies did their best to keep up. We headed back to camp around 10pm that evening. We did a late snack and most of them were in bed by midnight.

Daybreak came early the following morning, but word reached me the two Moms had decided to stay behind. They said something about antiques and some shops they wanted to visit near the campground. Well, that night, when we returned, the word quickly spread that someone had gone through the boys' tents. Dirty T-shirts had been washed and the Easter bunny had visited leaving each boy a brand new plastic cereal bowl filled with cello grass, marshmallow eggs, speckled malted chocolate balls and jelly beans . . . As the boys all thanked Mary Anne & Joyce for the grand surprise, they realized that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to have your Mom come along on a campout from time to time.
--- Bernie Samonds

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Making Good Things Happen

WT Harris Bridge FINALLY gets striped
Don’t know if you saw me on the Channel 36 News. They responded when I kept hitting "road blocks trying to get stripes put on the bridge over I-77 on Harris. The State people I tried to talk to just kept passing the buck. When I kept emphasizing it was dangerous, they just turned a deaf ear.

I finally said ”if I have the Highway Patrol call it in as an urgent situation will you do something?” The response “if that’s what you want to do, go ahead.”

Anyway, the people Channel 36 talked with said they had just received some funding and would do it within 30 days. It was done on the 29th day, but at least it was done.
--- Paula Veazie, Kelsey Glen


Riding For Those Who Can't
Oops! Lost the email that I thought my computer saved. But wanted to mention that 59 year-old Rich Haag (formerly of University City Magazine & other Knight publications) did a 200-mile bicycle ride to the beach last month. It was a two-day ride to raise money for the fight against MS, both with pledges & donations.


Finding Help for Jackson
Our neighbor Maggie Sewell is on a campaign of her own. Recently she heard about 3 year-old Jackson Laskowski, the middle child of three Harrisburg boys, who had been diagnosed with Stage IV Liver Cancer. His best chance at life is a liver transplant later this year. Maggie hopes to raise funds locally to help this cash-strapped family
who have already lost one son. You can read more about Jackson at: www.caringbridge.org/visit/jacksonlaskowski


Wednesdays, Sept. 29 to Oct. 20th
"Surviving the Holidays" Workshops
Hickory Grove Baptist Church, 6050 Hickory Grove Rd.

No matter how long it's been since your loved one died, grief can make the holidays a painful time, but there is Hope! Workshops on helping you not only survive the holidays but discover a new reason to enjoy them again. Led by Skip and Jerry Mudge. To register: contact Jan Stroud at HGBC 704 531-4042 or for more information e-mail sjmudge@att.net

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Your Questions and Some Answers

Q. Do you know why they left about half a mile of Sugar Creek unstriped? They striped from Harris Blvd. to just past the burned house, then skipped about ½ mile and started again at the entrance to Hubbard Falls. It is on the corner and bridge so it is really a bad spot. The lanes are marked with spots of paint but no stripes that show in the dark.

Haven't received an answer from NCDOT Engineer Louis Mitchell yet, but if I could hazard a guess from what I've seen of the local re-surfacing work. The center stripes and no passing lane markings are laid down with a paint truck. It covers a lot of ground, but it quits laying paint as it approaches some of the intersections. A crew of 4-6 painters with measuring tapes and paint stencils work their way along behind them marking intersections. Because they do the time-consuming specialty work, they could be running behind in our area.
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Q. I understand that Norfolk-Southern isn't willing to give up any more right-of-way to widen West Sugar Creek Rd. in front of the Derita Post Office. Has anyone ever suggested using Derita Ave. (directly in front of the Post Office) to create a 2-lane North & 2-Lane South twin lane arrangement with the railroad track running down the middle?

Many times. Some folks even show up with hand-drawn plans that suggest how Derita might look with a row small town shops along Derita Ave. -- kind of a Dillsboro look-alike. The Derita Ave. side would cross the railroad track to re-join West Sugar Creek Rd. just before the intersection with North Graham. They see this as a win-win situation because it would eliminate the West Sugar Creek bottleneck and create a thriving downtown area for Derita.

This might well have happened, if the originally-promised light rail from Charlotte had actually occurred. But we said from the very beginning that voters were being misled. The best we could hope for was a station along the Commuter North Rail, if built. A train would stop (for 90 seconds or less) just north of Nevin Rd. then continue on toward Huntersville, Cornelius, Davidson, & Mount Mourne. The proposed street and crossing closings proposed for the Commuter Rail would prevent Derita Ave, from re-joining West Sugar Creek Rd.

Also a major developer would need to step in and design the business make-over project because neither the State nor the City are willing to make the investment. But thanks for your suggestion.
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Q. Who can we contact about adding a left-turn lane on Gibbon Rd. at the intersection with West Sugar Creek Rd? Every day, traffic backs up on Gibbon Rd. because of folks who want to turn left onto West Sugar Creek Rd. With a left turn lane, traffic turning right could continue to blend into Sugar Creek traffic.

This hasn't been done because vehicles turning left create a blind side, obscuring approaching traffic from folks turning to the right. The only safe way to do this is to add a traffic signal at Gibbon @ West Sugar Creek --- once again slowing the traffic on West Sugar Creek Rd.

Our best advice would be to make your turn onto Nevin Rd. and enter West Sugar Creek at the traffic signal . . . But the signal timing would need adjustment. Some folks have clocked the West Sugar Creek @ Nevin Rd. signal lasting as long as 5 minutes.
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Q. What's up with all of the new concrete boxes around the utility poles in Derita along West Sugar Creek Rd?

While they aren't likely to keep someone from "taking out" a utility pole, they have been placed to designate how far out a curb or sidewalk might have extended, if the City had actually poured a sidewalk and curbing. By not adding these, they salvaged at least a minimum of parking in front of businesses like Derita Small Engine Repair, and "whimped out" on purchasing this row of "old buildings" that would have to be razed to widen West Sugar Creek Rd. to 4-lanes.

When we look at major snafu's like the turn lane for Rumple Rd. and the failure todeal with this age-old bottleneck on West Sugar Creek Rd., it will make it difficult for us to vote for the Road Improvement Bond on Nov. 2. After all, the only thing in the Road Bonds for our area that we can see is some road work on Johnston-Oehler Rd.

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Who said "There's NO FREE LUNCH?"
You can EAT FREE at Maria's Grill with a $10 Gift Certificate
provided by these Derita Businesses

Call Paul of North Carolina, LLC.
Do you have a house that needs a lot of things fixed to make life simpler?
That's what I do. Projects handled one by one.
home 704-596-4937 cell 704-574-0994
Call_Paul@bellsouth.net

Corley Controls
Heating - Cooling - Electrical
We are Your Neighborhood Heating and Air Conditioning Specialists
Family Owned and Operated --- We Service ALL Makes & Models
info@corleycontrols.com 704 598-2677


Daniel B. Hefner Plumbing Co.
A Family Tradition since 1919
Quality Plumbing Services through 4 Generations
Residential - Commercial & Gas Lines
www.danielhefnerplumbing.com 704 598-3703


Derita Reporter Printing Service Carbonless Forms, Letterheads, Business Cards, Envelopes
2600 Allen Road South 704 806-3813 Pls Lv Msg
deritarep@aol.com


Joe Sailers R B C Insurance Phone -- 704-661-8275 joe.sailers@rbc.com
Specialist in Life, Health, Disability, and Supplemental Insurance
R B C has great Annuity Rates


Keziah's Furniture Outlet Quality Furniture & Closeouts at Discount Prices
2914 Gibbon Road 704 596-7427
www.keziahsfurniture.com


Theresa McDonald. Realtor Help Me Sell Derita. -- Charlotte's Best Kept Secret
theresa.mcdonald@allentate.com 704 236-9340


Ultimate Protection Insurance
& Financial Solutions, LLC Sal Pierre-Louis -- Licensed Independent Insurance & Benefit Consultant
"As an Independent Insurance Agent
I have access to all the top insurance carriers in North Carolina"
"Let me be your advocate and shop around for you"
phone:704-241-2654 email: ultimateprotectionnow@yahoo.com


Wesley E. Sinclair, CCM Sales and Service Representative
Mutual of Omaha Insurance Co.
Liberty Mutual Insurance Co.
Medicare Supplements Long Term Care Life Insurance
Critical Illness Disability Insurance Annuities
Auto - Home - Renters - Boats
wesesinc@hotmail.com 704 560-1861

Sign Up for the FREE Weekly Drawings at Maria's Grill starting this week!
Winners will be notified each Monday by email

1st Week Winner --- Corey Westbrook
2nd Week Winner --- Stefanie Spake
3rd Week Winner --- D.W. Lindsey
4th Week Winner --- James Locklear
5th Week Winner --- Johnny Harris

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Today's Funny
(from our FREE Friday Funny Mail --- You can receive it each week. Lots of jokes, cartoons, & funny pics sent in by our readers. Just send your request to deritarep@aol.com )


Deborah's Newest Blonde Jokes

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'

'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
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A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
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A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'

'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!
--- submitted by Deborah Rowe